It is not that as a space professional that I am entirely anti-zombie. Although it may not be incorrect to say I hate zombies. I don’t hate metaphoric zombies (I have too many people I care about who fall in that category), I hate real zombies. And hating real zombies is sort of fun.
Of course of course, “there are no such thing as zombies.” But there are! Zombies are a literary device. There are such a thing as zombies: Zombies are an idea. Real zombies are a mental distraction. They are like a funny toy we cannot help but play with in our brain. (I know I know …”BRAAINNSS!” so what I mean is in our minds.)
Zombies cannot touch us in real life since well there are no zombies. (Sigh. Yes yes, okay …thankfully.) But zombies affect us in other ways. Zombies can pollute thinking. By “pollute” I mean in the same way as soda pop pollutes nutrition. An occasional zombie is fine but its when zombies become a daily or hourly thing, suddenly a diversion turns into a real health hazard. Which is my point: Some of our best student’s minds (BRAINS!!) are lost this way.
Constant soda attacks the body. Constant zombies affect the mind. (“BRAINNS!”) So in the same way I am affected by how poor food nutrition affects students’ physical ability, I am affected by the way poor mental nutrition affects students’ mental ability.
Thankfully, at the end of the day, our primary front-line defense in the battle against NAZA—North American Zombie Activity—is NASA.
NASA stands for National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Like the woman in charge says, “Nuke…from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.” And when it comes to conceptual menaces like raiding zombies hordes, conceptual offensive tactics like nuke from orbit are the only way to go. And nothing nukes conceptual zombie hordes like NASA.
Hordes of conceptual hordes are menaces because in large quantities they overcome valuable mind space by sheer numbers. NASA is our best defense. Because NASA is cooler than zombies by a factor of 1—NASA beats the concept of zombies because NASA is real life.
The final score on any given day in “Zombies vs NASA” is 0 to 1—because NASA (science!) wins and saves the day.
When given the choice between imagining zombies which (again, thankfully) will never (that’s right, never) be real life and imagining NASA where imagination can very quickly become reality, most people—particularly students—will go with NASA. Zombies are quickly relegated to distraction when the reality of taking off to save the world from above—with science!—is outlined.
When given the chance and proper introduction, science (and dumb luck, which is just being mentally prepared for opportunity to knock) wins the day every time.